Of Knitting,Thieving, and Changes.

Hello Internet,

As reminiscent as that statement seems, it doesn't feel appropriate anymore. This site was made to bitch and moan about Junior year. About all the people you meet and the changes that affect life. Somewhere along the way I lost that. So in true Hunter fashion, I've stolen some of Edwards magic and I'm starting over. Abandoning the ship with 57 days to spare.
We all know that I'm changing schools next year, I'm not subtle about it. I was determined to stick this blog out, but I hate it! I hate the posts, I hate the words. This isn't a good space anymore, there is so much spite and pain here now. I want to start over, I want to have a clean slate where the past doesn't affect the present. I'm going to make a new blog, and focus on new things.
I'm going to make this a brainstorm post, and I'll add the url for the new blog soon.

• Weekly knitting pattern
• bigger projects get more time 
• blankets/sweaters/etc
• Fashion
• OOTD(?)
• Current styles I'm loving
• How to dress up a band shirt Saturday(?)
• Quotes!
• Weekly themes that have quotes!
• 5 sentence Life updates
• One paragraph to talk about the big events (daily?)
• Week wrap up
• summary of the week
• pro/con list
• weekend forecast + week to come
• Book club
• monthly book to read
• review of last month's book
• whats on my To Read list

• Sundays for TV and movies
• What shows am I watching
• What did I think of the latest episode
• What movies did I see that week
• What did I think
• Life stories
• only the big ones
• first kisses/family dinners/etc
• Embellishments
• NANOWRIMO
• IMPORTANT NEWS
• whats going on in the world 
• whats important
• how to help
• Story talks 
• what am I working on
• how do i work characters 
• Tuesday is anime day
• What am I watching
• What manga am I reading
• reviews
• what's on my list to watch next

That list is just a few things we can expect from the new space. 

Now I have to figure out what to call it.
UPDATE: It's called Unraveling

Song of the day is Heat of the Moment by Asia
Goodbye old blog.

-xohunter

.deep breath.

Whew.

Hey Internet,

I know our last update was heavy, I kinda left you out on the ledge. Hope you can forgive me that indiscretion, I haven't felt like updating until now. Personally, I still don't want to update. I just want to let this thing rust and fall back into obscurity, but who would I be if I let that happen? Plus I have some renewed vigor thanks to the amazing web comic called Check Please! (Please check this out, it has everything you'd ever need, and pie.) The main character Eric "Bitty" Bittle is a vlogger/blogger by trade. He mainly blogs about recipes and any juicy drama going on with his college hockey team. I connect with this character, mainly because I've given myself the small mission in life of documenting my teen laments for posterity's sake.

Now onto bigger news, I'm transferring schools! Yep, that's right it's finally happened. Hunter L. Baugus will be joining normal people school this coming August. Edwards thinks the structure will be good for me, I can't help but agree. With all the freedoms Ipoly offered me it didn't give me the ability to have little boxes to separate work and play. I hope everything goes well next August, my first public school experience left much to be desired. Plus, I now have even bigger targets on my head. The chubby-pansexual-feminist-drama kid. What a nom de plume.

I'm going to start looking for a job soon, it's March, which is a good time to submit applications for the spring season. My stomach churns just thinking about leaving the safety of Ipoly. I'm going to forcefully evacuate myself into the vacuum of the real world. Talk about bad ideas with noble intentions. Honestly the job scares me less than the aspect of having to go through senior year at a public school. I know it's not that bad (and Ipoly was a public school too, a weird public school, but a public school none the less.) I just don't know how I'm going to get along with people that are already there. The usual garbage is floating in my brain "What if they don't like me???!??!!?" Well I already know that some people there are just going to hate me on the spot (if they remember me) so what's the point in worrying, they don't like me anyway.

I like me though, and although we've surly hit some rough patches, I think I'm turning into an okay adult. (Even though I have yet to make myself food, and I'm avoiding my homework because I don't know what it is....) I hope this is the right way to do this.

Okay that's enough babbling for this update, I understand that I haven't really addressed what's been happening in my absence, the answer is confusing so instead I leave you with a playlist (to make up for the missed "song of the day"s.)
The playlist can be found on pucksdaughter at 8tracks
-xohunter

Spin.

Being out sick for three days is a death wish, and it's one that I signed.

There are a lot of things going on in the nothing right now. I'm becoming more self aware and I keep finding that I love/hate it. I'm falling more and more in love with my friends, because honestly they are amazing. I hardly deserve their unending support. I think that it something that I figured out, that it is unending. Whenever I think they're mad at me they most likely aren't and I need to stop being so obsessive in that matter.
On top of that little matter, I think I'm starting to figure out what triggers my mood swings and I'm learning to isolate those things and stop them. Hard work, but worth it in the end.
Things feel weird now that I'm encroaching on adulthood. For one, my grades are kinda shit right now, mostly my fault with the hand of fate mixed in. As well as my science teacher making incomplete work a zero. That's really stupid and frustrating because even if I give effort, it doesn't matter because his homework isn't based on effort, it's based on completion. There is very little hope of me bringing those grades up by the end of the semester, as it concludes formally on Tuesday. Whatever, beds made, so I'm laying in it.
I think that's the change, there used to be this rush to make everything perfect and a panic if I didn't have the time. Now it's just acceptance. I fucked up, I'm going to have a hell of a time taking summer school, oh well. I'm kinda hoping mom will let me transfer second semester, I don't think she will. With the grades I have now I won't graduate Ipoly. How weird that I'm not as panicked as I should be.
I'm hoping for the best and throwing myself into making it better. I think if I can pull out second semester with and AP or higher I won't have to repeat the class. Not sure though...

Just updates happening in this post I guess, minor ones.
Song of the day Favorite Record by Fall Out Boy
-XOhunter

UPDATE:
Because of my mood swings and the insecurities I've been having I feel into the trap of being an emotionally manipulative, creepy, horrible, scuzzball.  Honestly I've lynched people for less than the things I've done. And karma got back at me good, and I lost three very good friends because of my actions. They had every right to do this and with the knowledge I now possess, the only thing I can do is plunge into the murky depths of the future with renewed purpose. To never hurt anyone else like I hurt them.
Hard work. So worth it in the end.
I'm adding this onto the post because I think it ties in nicely with growing up. You don't just learn the good things, you learn the bad things too. Now I have a choice, and I'm going to make the right one.
Song of the day Jet Pack Blues by Fall Out Boy.
-xohunter

The Madness of Two.

Who wants to hear you sing about tragedy?

Words to sum up the last two weeks, yep it’s been another friend dropping, low self esteem nightmare. Detox just to retox has apparently become my banner call. I’m just trying to get by living, doing everything I can to stay alive. Vivian, Danny, and Peyton keep up with the “It’s okay, we’re friends, it’s okay…” They’re right of course, it’s to be expected. I’m not supposed to be happy, I’m the artist. This leads us to some new possibilities.

The second song on Fall Out Boy’s Folie a Deux is I Don’t Care. Maybe that is how I have to go about this, the staggering heights and the hellish lows all culminating into I Don’t Care. Even last night, I felt like I was intruding on someone’s good time, and like I shouldn’t be there at all. There was this weight on my chest that was keeping me from speaking, and gods do I wish that I could have said something. I didn’t run away though, I kept my promise.

That’s just who I am, a person. I ultimately love every part of myself, but I don’t think my friends should have to deal with me like they obviously do. With soft smiles, and mild words. Like you would treat someone who would shatter at any moment. Someone who could be knocked out with a feather.

America’s Sweethearts is next on my list of maddeningly accurate Fall Out Boy songs. Nothing describes me more than “I’m in love with my own sin.” But still it’s the favorite of so many fans, and even the band loved that album (before it got so much hate.) I feel just like it, underappreciated and a little hurt by the reaction to me most of the time. It’s completely understandable though, I live on such a sensitive scale. One gram off, and the whole thing is thrown out of whack.

Essentially I’m trying to say that I am totally the album Folie a Deux.

Which is funny because that’s what the Song of the day is, that whole fucking album. Check it out wherever you can

Folie a Deux by Fall Out Boy.

-xohunter

The Summer Narrative. (August)

I know I promised you would get to hear the end of it, and I'm going to condense it for you, but summer can't relived. It was a magical experience but the more I write about it, the less magical it becomes. So I'm going to stop it here.
The end of it was that I met three wonderful people (more then that but those are the important faces) had some very strange experiences like dining with complete and perfect strangers. Staying out until one in the morning, walking home when I didn't know the way. (I was completely lost and hurt and pissed off.)
Looking at the experience now, I wouldn't change it for the life of me. It was being sixteen and wild and a little bit reckless. And it was truly magic. I saw white rocks and love and spirits. I felt connected and alive. There were people who I still think about, like the little Russian who just wanted to be a hard worker. He loved labor, and it was something that made him feel like a warrior. I met a kid who was trying to figure himself out and be kind to the world and change himself (He was a little bit strange, but it was the strangeness that drew me to him in the first place.)
There was the kind hearted scruffy guy, who was actually one of the people I had the deepest conversations with. He was so smart but didn't ever show it, we saw three baby deer in the hillside while searching for my friend. He kept me company because he wanted me to feel safe. There was the weird kid who fell in love while we were there, and had his heart broken when we left. He was sweet, if only a little naive. He felt like she was impossible, and he was right. I met a young girl who was messed up, but changing (I saw her change too, she's growing up fast.) She inspired me to be myself.
That was the summer narrative, the story was in the people I met and the way we connected in the short time I was there. Bobbi pointed out to me that they all respected each other and tried to be kind, I think that was true, at the end of it all.
Song of the day is Tides by The XX
-xohunter

Drugstore Perfume.(12*10*14)

It started with the slipping.
In and out of consciousness, in and out of dream states. The confusion of what I was hearing and seeing to what I was feeling. Like actually feeling, the cotton sofa cushion from my bedroom on came into clear view when my grandfather was yelling at me to get up and ready for school. Next came the texts from Vivian, those weren't really strange, but the way time moved was. It was fast paced ( I was late and moving as quickly as I could, but still had time to look at the texts and respond?) Turns out I wasn't late at all, I was early? Which didn't make sense, my grandpa even said I was late.

Vivian had unconsciously suggested a setting of intent for the day. She said it was going to be a good day and she was going to have fun. I looked at my sock and noticed a small hole in it, I felt an instant connection and understood that I felt like that little hole. Which was weird, and I decided that was going to be my day. Strangeness because emotionally connect with a sock is a little bit odd. I guess I didn't really know what I was asking for because I got it.
Starting in science. I've missed a lot of school due to sickness and familial issues and stuff, Mr. Pang noticed and was a little upset about it. He quickly changed the subject to that of the test, "You were here to learn everything so I should give you the test," He said, my grades hanging in the balance,
"But I'm not going to, you can take it next week if you tell me right now what day you're taking it."
I nodded furiously and scheduled my make up test for next Tuesday.

Thanking the god/desses of luck for smiling on me at that moment. I took my seat at the back of the class, rapidly copying notes from Bailey in hopes of getting some credit on my notebook. When I look up and see a crow. A little omen maybe? I look back down trying to figure out if I could draw stick figures before third block, when I looked up and there were two crows. Large crows, might I add. Then there were five and they all took flight giving way to even more crows. I stopped counting after 10 but I'm sure there were more. That was odd, I mouthed to Vivian and discreetly motioned to the crows. She nodded and I went back to spacing out.
Song of the day is actually a playlist found on Grooveshark.
-xohunter

Ipoly's Labyrinth

I don't have strep throat anymore!

Okay that isn't entirely true, I more then likely still have the virus (bacteria?) in me, I'm just no longer contagious and therefore I can go to school. Which I did today. As normal I forgot how little I enjoyed being in a school environment. It would be different if the people didn't suck, but they do. It was an eventful first day back, and will be a hellish week to follow. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do in order to make up the work that I'm missing. (Like the 10 assignments I'm missing in Pang's class. Chemistry is a bitch.) 

I also got to see everyone and figure out what happened while I was gone. Looks like my best friend is back with their ex. (See I love it because, I call everyone my best friend so no one really knows. To be clear I only refer to my Inner Circle as my best friends. I made a post about it...) And everyone is feeling the impending doom of break. Mr. Hedman also made me laugh because of his class today. I find myself increasingly done with algebra II. The subject matter is hard and bothersome. Maddie Doctor and I spent the morning in a tissy trying to figure out what in the hell we were supposed to be doing, eventually we gave up and just drew sperm (which actually came out to the right answer! Yay.) 

Lunch was eventful today, as I essentially called my friends out and told them they needed to look within themselves to find their inner path to true happiness. Because as sad and moody as I am, I know in the grand scheme I'm going to end up fine. Due to that I have this inner peace that just exists. I think it has to do with my abilities as a seer. Which is all very complicated and involves a lot of links and is very personal. Even though I'd like to share that part of me with the world (or at least find someone whose like me) I get the feeling that it doesn't work that way.

Fourth block was fun. Vivian and I got to hang out and just chill. Edwards and the Junior team were making the second semester project, so all the Juniors in the room (Vivian, Bailey, and I) had to vacate the premise. This led to Viv and I moving to the Sophomore corridor stairway grotto thing. It's a little landing after the top of the Sophomore staircase that everyone hangs out at. Except forth block because everyone has class

 The main frustration of the day; Sexist Teenage Boys and Girls Who Excuse Their Actions. 

I get that dating people makes you see things all weird and caddywompuss. That doesn't excuse the fact that teenage boys who have a secret chat where they are sexist and misogynistic is okay. Even if your boyfriend belongs to the chat and says stuff, it is still not okay to use the excuse "He's in a chat with a bunch of guys!!!" That means jack shit. They are still creeps no matter if they are in a room full of men or by themselves. It's behavior like that, that spreads the idea that it's okay to think that way. (lots of 'that's in that sentence.)

Sometimes I don't get why people just let important issues go to the wayside. My reason for being aggressive about political and social issues like that may be due to what Chloe calls my "Ability to do the hard stuff". We were discussing why people lie and she told me it was because people don't like awkward situations where they have to face their dirty laundry. The same argument was brought to me today in History class as we were reading about early immigrants. Americans didn't want immigrants to come into the country after awhile and while most write it off as an economic thing, another reason was that White American immigrants didn't want to own up to their history as immigrants.

These were just some thoughts that were rattling around my brain, I will likely update you again tomorrow, or maybe Wednesday. Depending on how homework/notebook/sleep scheduled goes.

The song(s) of the day can be found on this playlist. Keep an eye on it because I will be adding more songs to it when time permits.

-Xohunter

Strepping Up

I have strep throat.
Yeah, this kinda sucks and it takes me out of the running for school until Monday, which will be hella I'm sure. Because missing three days at Ipoly is like missing a whole week. I am sure that it wont prove to want to make me throw myself into the sea.

Speaking of which, I would love to visit the sea, so if any followers or readers have any beach front property they'd like to rent out for a limerick or two. I'm positive we could come to an agreement. With all that being said, I'm doing quite nicely.

I'm confined to my room for the next three days, I have a party to go to on Saturday (which I'm hoping I'm better for) and a lot to do before I can save anyone. So what am I doing instead? Browsing tumblr and making playlists. Very bad ones too, I only listen to shitty emo pop-punk. (That's not actually true, but you'd get more weird stuff from my love Peyton. Or my second love Vivian.)

When I actually start updating stuff, I'll let you know and add some links or something. I will most likely be making them through Spotify or maybe Grooveshark. Not sure though.

Today's song of the day is Flaws by Bastielle.
It's just a good song and I remember that I found comfort in it.
-XOhunter

Winter Is Coming.

Whenever winter starts to role around, my body shits itself.
Mucus and coughing, I look like a victim of the black death. I feel a hundred times worse though, because my chest is heavy and it's hard to breath. As well as my head pounding and this annoying pressure right behind my eyes. The only thing I want to do is sleep when I'm like this. Unfortunately I do have to do things, like school. School is the worst when you're sick, because not only can you not focus, but you're in pain.

The good news is that it's raining and that's always fun. Although it's really cold, wear a blanket to school cold. (And before anyone says "You don't know cold!!!!11!1!" Stop. You're right it's colder where you're at. But I'm still going to complain.)

School has been pretty uneventful on a whole. Today was a typical rainy day, everyone is too tired to do anything and the teachers are kinda done. Everyone is pretty done.
That doesn't stop the work from piling up though:

This week 12/1-12/5

• Math worksheet (2)
• Science worksheet (1)
• Science test
• Science lab (?)
• Blog assignment
• Recitations 

Next week 12/8-12/12

• Component five all week
• Probably more math
• Also more science
• Nav's Notebook (this thing will make everything suck)

Last week before break 12/15-12/19

• Component five due
• Component six intro
• Math test
• Work on English final
• "house party" or an excuse to be assholes.

Then I get to be done with school for a few weeks. Then you come back and it happens again.

Hard to stay positive when I feel like death. I'm managing though, and I'm glad that it's almost over. 

Song of the day is Shadow Play by The Killers

-XOhunter

Break Time

Hello wonderful human.
So I live in America, home of the capitalist and dirty cop/politician/teacher. We get one week off (depending on your school code or whatever) because some asshole decided to commit genocide on and indigenous population. (Christopher "The OG Fuckboi" Columbus) Now this is not to remember this tragady and promote awareness for the current state of said Native population (Check out this resource pack to educate yourself on their culture this week), but instead it is to uphold the image of the sham that was the first feast with the pilgrims (the 100 British men who settled in Virginia before it was Virginia) shared with their Native friends. When in actuality it was the wise Natives who shared with the European savages who forgot that winter was a thing. They essentially held the Natives at gun point and told them to plant corn. (assholes)

Now that we've established that "Thanksgiving" is fucking stupid, let's continue.

We get a break during this week so we can over indulge on food on Thursday, and then the following Friday spend money to boost the winter sales of businesses. Students know it as the last week before hell. Because, like spring break, thanksgiving break means hellish amounts of work before winter break. I personally don't like to think about it because it's kind of a downer. So instead I spend the week living like I will die the following Monday morning. Exorbitant food, movies, and candy. This year I was also going to try and get a date or two, but I've decided to postpone until further notice.

As it so happens I may acutally get time to update the blog, and depending on my mood, fill in some of the gaps that may have appeared over the course of Junior year.

Also I'm starting the count down until the end of Junior year (I'm going to try and find a widget too).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 MONTHS 11 DAYS TO GO UNTIL THE END.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's it for me today kiddos, be save this next week and if you're in America, go volunteer and feed the less fortunate.
Song of the day is I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy, And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me by Fall Out Boy
-XOhunter