Of Knitting,Thieving, and Changes.

Hello Internet,

As reminiscent as that statement seems, it doesn't feel appropriate anymore. This site was made to bitch and moan about Junior year. About all the people you meet and the changes that affect life. Somewhere along the way I lost that. So in true Hunter fashion, I've stolen some of Edwards magic and I'm starting over. Abandoning the ship with 57 days to spare.
We all know that I'm changing schools next year, I'm not subtle about it. I was determined to stick this blog out, but I hate it! I hate the posts, I hate the words. This isn't a good space anymore, there is so much spite and pain here now. I want to start over, I want to have a clean slate where the past doesn't affect the present. I'm going to make a new blog, and focus on new things.
I'm going to make this a brainstorm post, and I'll add the url for the new blog soon.

• Weekly knitting pattern
• bigger projects get more time 
• blankets/sweaters/etc
• Fashion
• OOTD(?)
• Current styles I'm loving
• How to dress up a band shirt Saturday(?)
• Quotes!
• Weekly themes that have quotes!
• 5 sentence Life updates
• One paragraph to talk about the big events (daily?)
• Week wrap up
• summary of the week
• pro/con list
• weekend forecast + week to come
• Book club
• monthly book to read
• review of last month's book
• whats on my To Read list

• Sundays for TV and movies
• What shows am I watching
• What did I think of the latest episode
• What movies did I see that week
• What did I think
• Life stories
• only the big ones
• first kisses/family dinners/etc
• Embellishments
• NANOWRIMO
• IMPORTANT NEWS
• whats going on in the world 
• whats important
• how to help
• Story talks 
• what am I working on
• how do i work characters 
• Tuesday is anime day
• What am I watching
• What manga am I reading
• reviews
• what's on my list to watch next

That list is just a few things we can expect from the new space. 

Now I have to figure out what to call it.
UPDATE: It's called Unraveling

Song of the day is Heat of the Moment by Asia
Goodbye old blog.

-xohunter

.deep breath.

Whew.

Hey Internet,

I know our last update was heavy, I kinda left you out on the ledge. Hope you can forgive me that indiscretion, I haven't felt like updating until now. Personally, I still don't want to update. I just want to let this thing rust and fall back into obscurity, but who would I be if I let that happen? Plus I have some renewed vigor thanks to the amazing web comic called Check Please! (Please check this out, it has everything you'd ever need, and pie.) The main character Eric "Bitty" Bittle is a vlogger/blogger by trade. He mainly blogs about recipes and any juicy drama going on with his college hockey team. I connect with this character, mainly because I've given myself the small mission in life of documenting my teen laments for posterity's sake.

Now onto bigger news, I'm transferring schools! Yep, that's right it's finally happened. Hunter L. Baugus will be joining normal people school this coming August. Edwards thinks the structure will be good for me, I can't help but agree. With all the freedoms Ipoly offered me it didn't give me the ability to have little boxes to separate work and play. I hope everything goes well next August, my first public school experience left much to be desired. Plus, I now have even bigger targets on my head. The chubby-pansexual-feminist-drama kid. What a nom de plume.

I'm going to start looking for a job soon, it's March, which is a good time to submit applications for the spring season. My stomach churns just thinking about leaving the safety of Ipoly. I'm going to forcefully evacuate myself into the vacuum of the real world. Talk about bad ideas with noble intentions. Honestly the job scares me less than the aspect of having to go through senior year at a public school. I know it's not that bad (and Ipoly was a public school too, a weird public school, but a public school none the less.) I just don't know how I'm going to get along with people that are already there. The usual garbage is floating in my brain "What if they don't like me???!??!!?" Well I already know that some people there are just going to hate me on the spot (if they remember me) so what's the point in worrying, they don't like me anyway.

I like me though, and although we've surly hit some rough patches, I think I'm turning into an okay adult. (Even though I have yet to make myself food, and I'm avoiding my homework because I don't know what it is....) I hope this is the right way to do this.

Okay that's enough babbling for this update, I understand that I haven't really addressed what's been happening in my absence, the answer is confusing so instead I leave you with a playlist (to make up for the missed "song of the day"s.)
The playlist can be found on pucksdaughter at 8tracks
-xohunter

Spin.

Being out sick for three days is a death wish, and it's one that I signed.

There are a lot of things going on in the nothing right now. I'm becoming more self aware and I keep finding that I love/hate it. I'm falling more and more in love with my friends, because honestly they are amazing. I hardly deserve their unending support. I think that it something that I figured out, that it is unending. Whenever I think they're mad at me they most likely aren't and I need to stop being so obsessive in that matter.
On top of that little matter, I think I'm starting to figure out what triggers my mood swings and I'm learning to isolate those things and stop them. Hard work, but worth it in the end.
Things feel weird now that I'm encroaching on adulthood. For one, my grades are kinda shit right now, mostly my fault with the hand of fate mixed in. As well as my science teacher making incomplete work a zero. That's really stupid and frustrating because even if I give effort, it doesn't matter because his homework isn't based on effort, it's based on completion. There is very little hope of me bringing those grades up by the end of the semester, as it concludes formally on Tuesday. Whatever, beds made, so I'm laying in it.
I think that's the change, there used to be this rush to make everything perfect and a panic if I didn't have the time. Now it's just acceptance. I fucked up, I'm going to have a hell of a time taking summer school, oh well. I'm kinda hoping mom will let me transfer second semester, I don't think she will. With the grades I have now I won't graduate Ipoly. How weird that I'm not as panicked as I should be.
I'm hoping for the best and throwing myself into making it better. I think if I can pull out second semester with and AP or higher I won't have to repeat the class. Not sure though...

Just updates happening in this post I guess, minor ones.
Song of the day Favorite Record by Fall Out Boy
-XOhunter

UPDATE:
Because of my mood swings and the insecurities I've been having I feel into the trap of being an emotionally manipulative, creepy, horrible, scuzzball.  Honestly I've lynched people for less than the things I've done. And karma got back at me good, and I lost three very good friends because of my actions. They had every right to do this and with the knowledge I now possess, the only thing I can do is plunge into the murky depths of the future with renewed purpose. To never hurt anyone else like I hurt them.
Hard work. So worth it in the end.
I'm adding this onto the post because I think it ties in nicely with growing up. You don't just learn the good things, you learn the bad things too. Now I have a choice, and I'm going to make the right one.
Song of the day Jet Pack Blues by Fall Out Boy.
-xohunter

A Universe, Contained.

High school is often described as its own little world. A micro cosmic universe. Filled to the brim with independent social actions, classes, and repercussions. And high school is its own little world, but it feels more like a world at war.

Whether or not you know it, there is most likely a rumor spreading about you right now. Not all rumors are meant to be malicious, but often times are. I personally know three rumors about myself that are circulating right now:

1. I’m a lesbian (I’m actually pansexual.)
2. I’m a massive bitch (I can be…)
3. I’m P.C.B with my friend. (Amendment to the rumor: actually, it was that we were making out at the Farm Store??? Thank you, Nicole.)

Now, I personally could care less, but let’s focus on the last one for now. My friend (who will remain nameless and descriptionless because they are sensitive about this topic) was really upset about rumor number three. I will admit that I was upset too, though, not at the people who started the rumor or the rumor itself. No, I was upset with my friend. Why did they react that way? It was a stupid rumor made by people who read too far into things.

I spent the day thinking about how to handle this situation. Do I try and put a stop to the rumor, do I continue on like I was never effected? I was at a crossroads; the course of action I decided was to stop being affectionate all together. If that’s where the rumors stemmed from, then we cut the stem. I was planning on doing this without my friend’s knowledge but then, on impulse, I decided to text them everything.

They clarified that it wasn’t the rumor that bothered them, it was the fact that people we had never met decided that would be an ‘okay’ thing to do.

This all ties into how truly meaningless high school is. It’s drama, it’s hardship, it’s repetitive. In a year’s time, the whole experience will be wasting away in dusty scrapbook. Your diploma can’t really open any doors these days, and being in college is expensive. And even that can’t do anything! Being caught up in high school is ridiculous. Why put so much energy into something so fleeting?

But there is something about high school that does matter: good teachers. They care so much about you. They care about your success and your failure. Having a good teacher is having a family member at school, or having someone you can just confide in. Teachers can understand high school drama better than parents, because they live it too. They try their best to guide you through some of the most difficult years of your life.  

(Now I fully understand horrible teachers who do horrible things. Those people shouldn’t be teachers.)

The difference between being a high schooler and being a person is so exponentially vast that you can’t even compare them. As you get older, the two start to blend. You become more of a person and less of a high schooler. You have a life outside of school, and somehow you start to prioritize things differently.

High school is a world of its own, a micro chasm of drama and late work. And sometimes, when you’re in a strange between world, like high school.... Worlds collide.

The song of the day is Far Too Young To Die by Panic! at the Disco
-xoHunter

Lazy.

I've been sitting on this next blog post for over a week so what it contains may no longer be relevant but whatever. I never quite cared for continuity.
So, as they say, on with the show,
"Septemeber 16th 2014
Oh the melodrama.

So, this weekend was simultaneously the most tremendous accomplishment and biggest failure in existence. Spiritually it was fantastic. Revelations and cuddles were abound. In the realm of being dramatic, however, it excelled a little too much.

I’m not going to rehash the drama, as the wound is still fresh and I don’t want to offend any friends or former friends. As it stands, I’m not trying to hurt anyone.

Life is getting complicated this junior year but splendidly so. Being Edwards T.A. is super fantastic and I’m so happy I made this choice. I’m so happy that I made the choice to hang out this weekend, I’m happy that I seem to have freedom. Everything is turning up my way and I feel blessed, and humble. Last year really was my character development year, and now I get the falling action.

Junior year,

Senior year,

Graduation.

I was thinking about time the other day and the way it affects our lives. Danny, Chloe, and I have been friends since seventh grade. Correct me if I’m wrong but I've known them for four years! That’s insane, and I had my third anniversary with Brooke last week. I’m going to be seventeen in a month, next year I’m going to be an adult.

Time keeps catching me and making me rethink things. If you asked me five years ago where I was going to be, I would have told you dead. Now I won’t ever give up, not on myself, not on my friends. I feel like I’m ready, I don’t know how, but I feel like I can take it all this time and shoot it right back out. No power in the verse will stop me.

That’s why the drama isn't so devastating this time. There is no punch, it takes me back a times. Over all I just think it’s stupid. I get it though, it’s high school.

I live in a little bubble, a separate entity from the real world. There are so many adult things that I don’t have to deal with. Like this week, I figured out that a person in my life wasn't a good person (The Drama) so I said goodbye. I don’t think you can do that in adult world. I’ll probably do it anyway regardless. I don’t like rules.

That’s about it, there isn't any real hidden meaning to all this, just thoughts that have come to me as of lately.

Song of the day is Escape by The Kongos. "

Looking back I agree with my whole heart that what I wrote is true. I am confident in the direction I'm heading and in my heart of hearts I know that I will be okay, and I will do the things that make me happy.

The song for today is How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty.

(For a happy blast to the past in retrospect of the future.)

-XoHunter
1-22-15 (January 22nd 2015) A not so happy retrospect from a distant future. 
While everything I wrote here at the time was true, I hate to say it but, things change. There were powers in the verse that could knock me back on my ass like I deserved for being a selfish, self serving assclown. Not just that but manipulative and repulsive. I assaulted someone I called my best friend, literally imposed my will on them and just like the rules state it came back at me three fold. And rightfully so. But like I said, I'm going to be an adult this year, this was a lesson that I needed to learn. I need to change my behavior before I can move forward, and the only way to do that is by looking back and correcting past errors. The drama will more then take you back because the words you get hit with are important ones that you need to hear. You'll learn from it, and come out better on the otherside. Always remember who got hurt for you to learn though, never forget their names and faces.

Puffy stickers and Incandescent words.

Hello.
Today is not about lighting up as much as it's about emotions.
Going to Ipoly you're forced to confront a lot of emotions, some of them very negative and uncomfortable.
Sometimes these emotions can get out of control. That's when the feeling starts. It rises through your gut and into your abdomen and you look like you're going to be see sick but your body is shriveling like it's in a drought.
that feeling is the complete opposite of how life is supposed to feel like.
And I know those feelings and they suck the life out of you.
If you're feeling that it will get better, I don't know how long it will take but it will.
I love you so so much. I only ever want you to feel that sunshine in your veins.
So if your parents suck like mine do: remember it's all going to be over soon, 18 and then freedom.
If your teachers suck: They have sad lives. They are sad people. If you feel uncomfortable or upset, go to your schools office and let them know.
If your friends make you feel like you shouldn't be alive: Dump them. They don't deserve you and you will find people who will.
Everything heals with time, even the deepest of wounds.
I love you so much,
-xoHunter

Walking Into a Candle Shop.

Hey there!
Today I'm going to tell you the story of how walking into a candle shop might have changed my life forever....

It was 5 o'clock on a Thursday when Bobbi and I rolled into Solvang. We had just finished a week in Pismo Beach with my grandparents and now we were on the second leg of our trip. Four days in the King James Inn, located in the small Danish impostor town of Solvang. The street rolls up in Solvang at five, so satisfying our adventurous spirits was going to be a challenge. I was on a hunt for the Rainbow Tea shop (which I later learned had closed down months before.) My search was looking like a lost cause, so Bobbi suggested we check out some other stores. We found a candle shop that sold little touristy items at extremely low prices. As we were looking around, laughing and being generally exhausted from the drive, a girl with green hair walked into the shop. She looked like she was nineteen and having a bad day. So I called out to her,
"Hey, sorry this may be totally weird, but I really like your hair."
I forget her intimidate response, but somehow we started having a conversation. She said her name was Ari. I took it upon myself to introduce Bobbi and I,
"I'm Hunter, and this is Bobbi. We're girls with boys names."
"Really, like those are your actual names?" Her response was intimidate.
"Yep."
And that's how we continued. Ari and Bobbi had similar taste in music, I had no clue what they were talking about so I busied myself with things in the shop. We stuck around aimlessly wondering and Ari said,
"Yeah this is my first day working here."
My thoughts were, 'Wow, how lucky are we?' I'm not sure if I said it or not, but knowing me I probably did.
Somehow she roped us into buying some cool stickers. And she eventually asked us to hang out after she closed up shop. We exchanged numbers (I fucked mine up by accident.) And that was it.
Until she texted us the next morning.

I was thinking about this today because Ari is now someone I would consider a really good friend. I only knew her for four days, but she's made such an impression on me. I love the fact that I have her for a friend now all because I walked into a candle shop and told a girl that I liked her green hair.

If you want to hear more stories from Solvang, stay tuned because the next installment is coming soon.
Ari showed me some songs today so go check out Big Jet Plane by Angus and Julia Stone
Check you next time,
-xoHunter